I know all the answers, so why am I so nervous?

On the scale of tough exams, this one falls very low. Compared with a final, piece of cake. Compared with a qualifying exam, piece of cake. Compared with a PhD dissertation defense... a crumb off of a very large piece of cake.

As I type this my class is taking their first in-lab quiz. I wrote it. I know all the answers. So why am I so nervous?

It is because it is my first quiz, the first that I've ever written, the first that I've ever distributed, the first that ever counts towards someone's actual grade.

And the whole reality comes slamming down on me. Sshhhhaaaa-BAM. I am teaching an actual college class. I have to give out grades. These grades will go on their transcripts. Forever.

My only consolation is that I don't remember my bio 100 lab. So maybe years from now they won't either. Hopefully they'll get a good foundation for their future. I'd like to think they'll remember me but... the lesson for today is don't need to sweat the small stuff.


Lisa said...

It's good that you have perspective. Not to take away from what you are doing, because, if you think about it you could totally change someone's world or their career path, and if you do, my god won't that be amazing!?!? But, you are right in that this one quiz won't make or break their future....sometimes I wish I could tell that to the parents of my students. Oh, the things I would say, starting with it's THIRD grade. Nothing here really COUNTS! Besides being a good person and making good choices...