I'm having trouble turning my brain off.

I've reached a milestone in my career. No, I haven't gotten hired or fired anywhere, made any amazing new discoveries or been awarded any great honors.

It's like, when you are driving down the road and you think you have miles before your next turn... and then just as you are about to pass it, you realize you need to make a rapid turn to the right. You make the turn and you head on down the next road, but your adrenaline is still pumping a little and you have that little high of part relief part excitement that you made it. But the thing is, you haven't actually arrived anywhere yet.

Well, that's me.

What I have done is send in my first application for a faculty position. I decided pretty close to the last minute to submit an application, mainly because I had just gotten settled in a path of family first, work second. So when I finally made the decision to go for it, it didn't leave me much time to get everything together.

Over the period of four days I gathered my letters of recommendation, updated my CV, wrote a research plan, and came up with a teaching statement. It sounds so simple when I write it like that, but anyone who has been through it knows... its not. At least, not for me. I mean, I had to summarize all my past and future research in 3 pages! And then come up with a teaching statement. What the heck is that?

But now, it is done. Juliette came with me to FedEx this morning, we got there at 11:30. Thirty minutes to spare before the final drop off for express shipping, so my packet can arrive monday morning.

Next time... if there is one... it will be a lot easier. In a weird way, I feel like my part is done, that's it, close the book and move on. The reality is that I really really hope to get called in to give a job talk... I'm already practicing in my head.

But it's almost 11:00 on a saturday, and really I just want to read my trashy "Anita Blake Vampire Hunter" novel and not think about anything intelligent.

(ah, the dichotomy. Tenure track faculty position on one hand, trashy vampire novel on the other. Hey, they are both about strong, career minded women.)