How many times do you have to warn your students that blackboard will crash if you try to hit the back button on your browser or open a new window while taking an online quiz?

How many times do you have to warn your students that if they do not email reset requests before 8:00 pm, they most likely will not be accommodated?

How many times do you have to explain to your students that they don't get a second chance, and once class starts the quizzes are no longer available, will not be made available, and cannot be made up (good thing we drop the two lowest grades.)?

Grrrr.

My high didn't last long. I mean, dreaming about a job is all well and good, but meantime, I have two that are real and require actual work. And oh boy, the work I have this week...

We are starting the first week of a three week lab in the class I am teaching; this week will be a lot of background material and very little actual lab work. And the background material has a lot to do with rates of change and the associated calculus.

When we had an organizational meeting last week, the Wise Professor who actually wrote this lab tells us "Your students will be intimidated by the math. Don't let them be." So I casually turn to the page with all the math... it is easy to find, what with the f(x)'s and such... and holy crap I AM INTIMIDATED.

Do you know how long it has been since I have taken a math class? Um, wait, it takes more then two hands to count, and if I can't use my fingers than it is beyond me.

So I've been googling rates of change. Right now I am on the high school calculus help page, relearning (which would be accurate if I'd ever really learned it in the first place) about derivatives and such. Do you know, Wikepedia has a definition of a derivative. It made perfect sense for the first few sentences, and then I scrolled down. What?

Maybe I'm just tired. I'll deal with it tomorrow. Class isn't until Thursday.

Meanwhile, anyone who can help me with this... think ELEMENTARY CALCULUS...(is that an oxymoron?)... please feel free to comment with a nice primer on what the f that f in f(x1)-f(x0) is.

Addendum:
OK OK, I got it.
y = f(x). f'(x), is the derivative of f(x)

And if m= delta y / delta x, then
for (x+h, f(x+h) :
delta y/ delta x = f(x+h) - f(x) / (x + h) - x = f(x+h) - f(x) / h

Duh.

Don't even get me started on tangent lines. I don't know how to type all that mathematical stuff in to blogger.

I don't mean that in the good way.

These freshmen...

How many times can I sign my emails and communications as "Dr."? And yet I get the emails addressed to "Tina", "Mrs." and even once... "Hey". That last one was a real pleasure, seeing as it was actually forwarded to my supervisor (or whatever I'm supposed to call him). He saw his email before I saw mine, and he memo'd the entire department about not accepting that kind of attitude. So I got his memo, because it showed up first in my inbox (most recent emails first). Then I got the email from the student, and realized the memo was about me and my student. That was a good night, let me tell you. So then I emailed my supervisor and said... that was mine, wasn't it? And since we were in our respective houses emailing at the same time, he promptly replied "Yup." Plus a few other choice words about the student. I apologized, diffused the issue that was the reason for the email in the first place, namely my not responding promptly enough to the students query (by prompt I mean within two hours of him sending the email), and then we both went off to enjoy a glass of wine.

However, one does not want ones supervisor thinking that ones students are walking all over one, even if they aren't (up until that minute).

So I responded to the email- the original email, not the second rude one. Next class, the student was extremely polite, and generously 'volunteered' to help with a few extra lab duties. Lucky him.

Then when I had to file early warnings, I almost selected "No Resp for Instructor", which I took to mean that the student doesn't show any respect for the instructor. Then I realized it was "No Resp From Instructor" which I thinks means that there is no response from the instructor. Which is weird that it is even a choice, because the act of choosing that is itself a response, isn't it? Anyway. They should make Lack of respect an option.

I know this is the second time in two semesters that I am teaching the same class. I thought it would get easier. And it has.. and hasn't.

On one hand, I am more familiar with the material. There are a lot more sections so there are more of us teaching the same thing, and the support is incomparable. So yes, it is easier.

On the other hand... I am realizing what a bad job I did last semester. I am realizing how much I missed. I am learning what I should have taught versus what I actually did teach. In fact, because I am teaching two sections, I am even changing my presentation from my monday to my thursday lab; and it is the thursday section that is performing better on homework and quizzes, which hopefully means that by the third time around... I'm getting it right.

So even though I thought I had all the hard work done, I am finding myself spending a great deal of time prepping for class... the right way (I hope!) this time.

The summer is over. Time to start thinking about a new school year.

The nice thing about the academic life is that you do get a summer break. Sure, I still had my other job to do, but the year doesn't pass in such a blur when it is nicely divided into quadrants... fall, winter break, spring, and summer.

We had our first organizational meeting at "RSU". Last semester I taught the repeat of the first semester bio lab, for people who had transferred in or failed the first time around- so it wasn't a large course. This is my first experience teaching the same section as, oh, 7 other people. It's all about this section, this year, and thus I have a lot of company and things- uh, I mean, I should be better prepared. There were several first time instructors at our meeting, and I felt like the wiser experienced one, having taught at all, and this course already. It is certainly nice not to have first-time jitters.

Then I got home and realized that oh, yeah, classes start next week. I have work to do! So I sat down with my upgraded laptop (courtesy RSU), and realized my battery was near dead. And that is when I discovered that the charger they gave me doesn't fit this computer.

Sigh. Maybe I overestimated our preparedness for this semester.

I just read through the evaluations from my first class- ever, and I have to say, they weren't so bad. Not great, not bad. For the most part, they were uninspiring. Then there were a few that I have to remind myself... the only people who actually write something usually have strong opinions, negative or positive. Of course, they weren't all negative...

for example:

Worst thing about the course:
The teacher!
(Ouch! That's harsh!)

Best thing about the course:
The teacher!

What did you like least about the instructor’s teaching?
There was no direction during the lab. We came in and just read through the lab manual and did the lab to the best of our ability.

What did you like most about the instructor’s teaching?
She did the labs with us if we had any trouble.

What did you like least about the instructor’s teaching?
She assigns a lot of homework and she teaches very little.

What did you like most about the instructor’s teaching?
Easy grading. Gave good feedback on assignments she gave back.

What did you like least about the instructor’s teaching?
She doesn't answer our questions.

What did you like most about the instructor’s teaching?
Very helpful and always there to answer questions.

Are you catching the drift, here? These evaluations are not very helpful. Also, it was a small enough class that I can almost figure out who said what. The comments about how I didn't explain the assignments probably came from the student who was extremely smart but lost major points because he never followed directions. The comment about how "everything was unclear and there was no direction and most of the time I didn't know what the assignments were or where to get them or how to do them or when they were due..." which was one long run on sentence was probably from the student who lost points because she wrote her formal lab report as one long run on paragraph which didn't have any punctuation and who would look at me with a blank vacant look whenever I tried to explain things to her. In my mind I can visualize her saying those things.

It is also interesting that I set aside class time for the students to fill out the evaluations; there were 14 kids in class that day... but only 12 evaluations were submitted. So... what happened to the other two?

And finally, there was only one 'additional comment':
She is a very nice person but very unclear with a lot of things that she wanted us to do for her lab. Sometimes she seemed like she didnt know what she was doing.

And that... I can't argue. See all my previous posts about the missing equipment; the labs that I was informed at the start of class would be delayed because reagents hadn't arrived yet... ;
discrepencies between the lab manual and the actual lab; and of course, my own idiocy when I couldn't seem to follow my own notes.

And yet, I've signed on to do it again. Two classes in the fall, and two in the spring. The coordinator promised me that next time it will be much better.
Damn tootin straight. No matter what the students say, I've learned a lot this year.

Dear Professor ----:

I am writing you this email in regards to a request. I recieved a B in Biology lab for this semester. I wanted to ask that that grade be changed to a B+. I feel this is a resonable request based on my progress and effort put forth in the class and also my perfect attendance. I am going to be applying to medical schools in the near future and a high GPA is a necessity for admission into med schools. The B+ would improve my average and be greatly appreciated. Thank you for considering this request and thank you for a great year.

John Doe

Ahh, the politics.

I am only a first semester adjunct; I teach one evening session of an introductory lab. Because it is in the evening, I never have the opportunity to interact with other faculty. The office is always dark and closed, and the few times I've had to contact another faculty member with a question during lab I've usually interrupted their dinner. So I'm getting some teaching experience without the supporting collegial relationships. In other words, I haven't had to deal with the bs.

Except by email. I get all the emails, but really they haven't been numerous... until today.
This morning we all received an email with details on the policy for dealing with a certain kind of special needs situation. There was an objection to one small point which was, actually, at the core, a quite reasonable objection, and everyone really does seem to agree on the fundamental issue.

What has been interesting is reading the way in which people write their opinions. All pc... or, not at all pc but being careful to point out that they are not being pc. All the "with all due respect to your hard work and all the effort you put into..." and the "... I don't want to make light of your efforts..." and the "... of course we want to give handicapped (I am not using politically correct language here!) students every opportunity..." . Also the "... I think we need to have clear policies..." and "... perhaps we need our legal team to explain what is required and a psychology team to explain what is needed..." and "... this should be discussed in the faculty forum..." and even the clearly frustrated "... I've been trying to have a faculty forum about this for several months now and I hope we can finally all agree that this is an important issue worth our time..." Phew. It is exhausting! And educational. I wonder about the faces behind the names. I form images in my mind based on their title and signatures; some have quotes below their name and those often throw me off, usually not being the kind of thing I expect from the person I've invented in my head.

I feel a little bit like a spy as I read all these emails; I have been functioning so much on the outskirts and these emails have provided me with little glimpses behind the door. It just makes me realize how isolated I've been and how different things would be if I were full time, day time. It makes me realize that their are advantages to being in my position. It also makes me realize that I really want to be on the inside, to be a person whose voice really counted.

Someday.

I just came back from a quick drive to RSU to retrieve some homework assignments that need to be graded by Monday. Normally the students hand them in to me during class but this week I did not see them.

Why did I not see them? I was faced with a real dilemma this past Monday. I had taken the day off to take care of my sick girls, both suffering from a stomach bug. Mid afternoon I noticed a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Nah, it's nothing. "I thought. "I'll be fine. Class is tonight, I'm ready to go, it will be a good lab." Three hours later at about the time I should have been jumping into the shower getting ready to to, I was instead hunched over the toilet trying not to throw up and trying to psych myself into being well enough to drive to class.

Mind over matter... mind over matter... uh, not.

The dilemma was... I hadn't actually thrown up yet. But every time I moved I felt a horrible roiling writhing pit of unease in my lower gut, and I knew that it was just a matter of time. So I called the coordinator to tell them that I was extremely sick. His response: "So, what you are telling me is that you are not coming?" I was feeling horribly guilty about this as it was. But, seeing as the smallest movement on my part inspired a huge need to vomit, cancelling class seemed the only option.

So I emailed the class and had them hand in their homework to my mailbox. At just about the time I would have been standing up in front of the class reviewing the days complicated lab exercise, the feeling turned into a reality. I spent most of the night within steps of the toilet. It wasn't pleasant, but it made me feel a little bit better about canceling class.

Today I went to retrieve the homework. Wimp that I am, I went when the office was closed so that I wouldn't have to bump into anyone.

Man, I hope they don't fire me.

It’s been a while since I posted because last week was spring break. Instead of taking the extra time to prepare for upcoming labs, write the next quiz, or grade the large pile of homework- and the mini lab reports- instead of being responsible and prepared, I let my book bag collect dust for two weeks.

That is not entirely true. I did carry it with me a lot. I just never opened it.

Last Monday, realizing that it was spring break, I took my book bag with the intention of spending the entire three hours working on class stuff; that lasted 30 minutes.

I needed the break.

Yesterday I went in early to meet with the coordinator; he was showing me how to use the gas analyzer. He showed me the gas analyzer; asked how things were going. Then he casually mentioned that the class hadn’t studied cellular respiration before and that I should give a good review about it to start. He highlighted the key concepts that he thought I should go over, and then left me to prepare. So I ran over to the cafeteria for a quick bite. Note to self, do not get tuna salad here anymore. As I sat there surrounded by bubbly college students, I was pleased. I thought, as I ate, how much better it is when you get a little guidance. I still had a little bit of preparation to do, but I felt confident in knowing exactly what was expected of me, and exactly what was expected of this week’s lab.

It was a nice feeling, for a change!

I had my detailed notes in my hand. I was trying to clarify a confusing concept, and had decided that a good old fashioned chalk talk was the only way to do it.

But then I got confused. I thought I had things backward, so I switched them. That didn’t look right, so I switched them again. And again.

Finally, the students shouted out the correct answer.

That’s one way to teach them, I guess.

BTW, my notes were correct.

After that, they were more confused. One student even told me “I thought I understood before I got here but now I don’t get it.”

Oh yeah. I loved to hear that.

On the scale of tough exams, this one falls very low. Compared with a final, piece of cake. Compared with a qualifying exam, piece of cake. Compared with a PhD dissertation defense... a crumb off of a very large piece of cake.

As I type this my class is taking their first in-lab quiz. I wrote it. I know all the answers. So why am I so nervous?

It is because it is my first quiz, the first that I've ever written, the first that I've ever distributed, the first that ever counts towards someone's actual grade.

And the whole reality comes slamming down on me. Sshhhhaaaa-BAM. I am teaching an actual college class. I have to give out grades. These grades will go on their transcripts. Forever.

My only consolation is that I don't remember my bio 100 lab. So maybe years from now they won't either. Hopefully they'll get a good foundation for their future. I'd like to think they'll remember me but... the lesson for today is don't need to sweat the small stuff.

I have finally recovered from grading my first homework assignment.

I started out by naively assuming that it would be a piece of cake. It was a very simple assignment, the class could practically cut and paste the information off the web, cross check with the extremely detailed instructions, and hand it in for a perfect score.

First, 20% of the class didn't even bother to hand it in.
Another 60% of the class apparently needed even more detailed instructions.
15% of the class sought to impress me by handing in a bigger and better assignment... only half of them didn't do it the right way and the rest... well, instead of impressing me it just made me have to look over more pages... and left me wishing they would just follow the directions.

The first time I went through and reviewed them all I finished up and I had a big black cloud over my head. If I had graded things then, everyone would have failed.

Instead, I took two days, then came up with a rubric for how to grade the assignments. I am quite proud of that, because until two days ago I didn't even know what a rubric was. Anyway, that helped keep me fair and balanced, and at the end of the day they didn't all do as badly as I originally perceived (because I was nice).

However, after a review this week, they are going to get either a pop-quiz or a repeat homework assignment next week. That'll teach em.

I hope.

It turns out that my mini-lecture at the beginning of lab was the least stressful part of the whole class.

I was so prepared today. I read the protocols in detail. I had my presentation all set to go. I viewed all the online tutorials on how to use the spectometer and associated software. I'm feeling prepared.

Then I get to lab, and I walk around, looking for the spec, wanting to connect and try it out before the class arrives, to make sure all is set.

Only I can't find a spectrometer. Anywhere.

Also, the installation discs for the software that the students need to run the spec and do today's lab? Nowhere to be found.

A couple of the students are there, having arrived extremely early, and they are familiar with spectrometer's from chem lab; so they start looking too; we look throuh all the cabinets, on all the shelves, under all the benches, but we definitely don't see one. I find one in the back lab, the research lab, but I'm very certain that isn't the one we are supposed to use. It's not portable, and it doesn't require the software and program file that we all have to install, and it's a really nice one whose owner would probably not appreciate it being appropriated for use by 16 clumsy and inexperienced undergraduates.

I ended up calling the coordinator. It turns out that the spec is a tiny thing wrapped in bubble wrap sitting on the bench... but it isn't the one described in the lab manual or online tutorial. And the software is in a lab down the hall, locked in a drawer in the far corner of the room. Where I would have never in a million years found it. This makes me feel better; it isn't unpreparedness so much as it is inappropriate preparedness.

Phew. I don't have time to test anything out, but it is a relief to get rolling. I give my little presentation, and I give them the Perspective talk. I can't tell if they think it is interesting or if they think it is boring. It ends up taking only a few minutes, and I feel good about it, so if I ever teach this class again I'll probably re-use it. Then we get to this week's assignment.

Everyone installs the software without major problems. We figure out how to hook up the spec and how to calibrate it. Then they get started with preparing the samples. People are looking for the potato extract that they need for their experiment. Only it turns out that the "extract" they left for me was... a big honkin Idaho potato. Just sitting right there on the bench. I look around and see a blender. OK, I figured, we'll just puree it with some water. That results in a nice chunky suspension of pureed potato. Chunky potato puree equals not potato extract. Puree's don't work in a spectrometer.

The coordinator just happens to call at that moment to check up on me and I joke about this potato puree. He mentions, "Oh, yeah, don't forget to strain that."

I see the cheesecloth sitting on the bench behind the microscope. Doh. Of course! That's what it is for! I pour the puree through, and end up with a brownish liquid, which looks exactly like the potato extract is described in the text. Success!

This is not the way to inspire confidence in your students that you know what you are doing.

However, at the end of it all, we got it done. And I figure if I can get through that SNAFU, then I can get through anything.

Our second lab is a bit more complicated then the first; at least, the concepts are, if not the actual experimental protocol. I've spent a little bit of time pulling out my old college textbooks and reviewing enzyme catalysis; I'm sure glad I saved all of those! Now I am trying to prepare for class.

Last time I realized I didn't give enough of an introduction. I don't want to make that mistake twice. But, I also want to make things interesting and I feel that I could put some perspective onto the enzymes lab by using the basics of my own research as an example.

My question is this: is that a good idea? My sister, the elementary school teacher, tells me that real world perspective is always a good thing. I'm just not sure if I should use my own research as an example, even though it fits.

My plan, as of now, is to first Review last weeks lab and put in the context of their homework assignment, which was to read the section on experimental design. Then we'll start on the enzymes section; I'll give them a little Background, give them the Perspective, and then go over the Protocol for today. The protocol will be outlined as in the experimental design chapter. Then, to make sure cool jock in the front doesn't try to skip out early, I'm requiring them to present me with a draft of their protocols for next week's lab, the designing of which is part of this weeks in-lab assignment.

See, how nicely it all ties in together? See that I'm learning how to get them to all do their work? Yup. I'm patting myself on the back right now.

My only worry is that this is too much stuff to go over. Last week was too little; I don't want to move in the opposite direction.

Well, I'll never know until I try. And I can always modify as I go along.

Well! I had my first class last night, and all things considered I think it went pretty well. I went by to observe the early afternoon section, just to get a feel for how to kick things off with the right tone. It made me feel a lot better. However, as I was standing in the back of the lab, I noticed that quite a few of the students were surfing the web- bidding on ebay auctions, downloading iTunes music, and what have you. This made me wonder: How do I prevent that from happening in my own lab section?

I gave a brief introduction then let the librarian give her 30 minute lesson; after she was finished, I continued on with the lab. First order of business: Introduce myself; then, go over safety; skim through the syllabus; and finally get down to the experiment of the day. I asked them if they wanted me to go over the details of the lab or if they'd rather just get to it. I was met with thunderous silence and 16 blank stares, so I decided to let them just get to work.

Big mistake. Any experienced educators out there are probably laughing at my naivete right now.

Lesson #1: No matter how many times you tell them to do it, most of them will not read the experimental protocol in advance. To save yourself the trouble later, go over it with them now.

I often had to check my notes; it was the most basic questions that were hardest to answer. Sometimes, it was hard enough just to figure out what they were asking me. They'd point to a test tube and say "Why is this/ isn't this blue/brown/clear?" At which point I'd have to figure out what "this" was.

Lesson #2: Know the protocol, so when they ask how to do something I can give them the textbook answer. (Not that my answers were wrong- they just weren't the way it was written in the book).

To make sure they were focused, I just kept circulating around. I spent some time trying to learn their names. I earned a nickname, my one syllable last name getting shortened down to a single letter... but that's cool. Cool athlete in the front row thinks he is buttering me up, but I noticed that he skipped out without finishing the last part of the experiment, telling me "I can assume that the results will be XYZ". Next week, we'll start of the class by reviewing how often the results came out the expected way (0%) and how often it was more ambiguous (100%). It's amazing how quickly you can get a feel for the potential of each student.

Lesson #3: Eat dinner before class starts so you don't get a pounding headache halfway through.

We got through it, for the most part. They are new in lab... and I mean brand new. I had forgotten that. And I am in new at teaching. So we are all learning together.

I had my first meeting at "RSU"*. It was an informational meeting followed by a welcome reception.

I went to the meeting hoping to get some guidance as to what and how I was teaching. I got my laptop, and the necessary software. I got an ID and a parking permit. I learned that many of my repeaters were forced to do so because of their decision to copy someone else's lab report instead of writing their own.

I learned that there is sophisticated new software for measuring plagiarism. I learned how to use it.

I met the numerous other adjuncts and the few full time faculty.

I drank some nice wine and ate some nice cheese and cold pizza.

I was reassured that I have the necessary skills.

I was told to have the students call me "Dr". It's nice when I can use that deserved but underutilized title.

And then I went home.

And then I realized that I still had a hundred and one questions to ask.

But one question that I don't have anymore was "how would I feel being back in this sort of environment? In a smaller school, with only a few faculty, where the focus really was on the students? In other words, a PUI- primarily undergraduate institution?"

The answer is.... right at home.

Man. I forgot, until now, that when I envisioned myself teaching it was at a place like this. Research is great, and I love being in a world class, top notch institution, surrounded by brilliant minds carrying out cutting edge work.

But it just isn't home.

My hubby reminded me that I havn't actually taught a class yet.

Oh, yeah. Hopefully I'm not romanticizing teaching. Hopefully I like it as much as I've convinced myself I will.

*Raising Scientists University